I am only human
by jackismyboo
Summary: Elizabeths POV: How can you sleep when you know you killed a man? But I didn't kill any man, I murdered Captain Jack Sparrow.
1. Chapter 1

**Part1 Prologue **

Have you ever wondered what you could of done different in your life?

"_I'm not sorry." Pulling back temptation_

"_Pirate." He said proudly_

Have you ever wondered if you loved the right person?

"_A marriage interrupted…or fate intervened"_

Have you ever had the urge to do something you want?

"_You long for freedom. To do what you want because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. Someday…You won't be able to resist."_

I have.

My body lays limp in the arms of the man I love, before I say good-bye to the world, you need to know the truth and the real reason I am here.

1


	2. Chapter2 I am a murderer

Part2

How can you sleep when you know you killed a man? But I didn't kill any man I murdered Captain Jack Sparrow.

You may find me merciless, but that is an understatement, I killed him out of selfishness and lust, chained him to die as I escape and roam free.

I am feeling only but guilt. Guilt a word we all seem to know.

My eyes are bloodshot; I am staring into total oblivion in my hammock. Snores are echoed through the walls. I haven't slept in days, circle began to form under my eyes.

"Elizabeth?" Came a strong, sweet voice below me in the other hammock. It was Will my fiancé. We were to be married but complications seem to arise, they seem arise all the time now.

"Hmm?" I answered half heartedly

"You're not sleeping again." He told me feeling concerned. He seems to know everything about me.

"I was, but you woke me." I choked on my lullabies.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you I just thought you were not sleeping again." He said feeling at ease again then turned on his hammock facing the wall, and then all went silent.

I knew he was still awake.But that didn't bother me, I continued to stare into space. I know why he treats me this way.

"_Thank you Jack" I piped staying on the ship rather than going on the longboat._

_He turned to look at me. He looks so….vulnerable._

"_We're not free yet love" he warned me not taking his face away from mine, as I start to walk towards him._

"_You came back. I always knew you were a good man" I told him. He came back and gave us time to get to safety._

_He didn't say anything. I could see he didn't want his ship, his beloved Pearl to go down with the kraken. _

_I looked at his lips, wanting. I gave up him a seductive look then put my lips to his, tasting him for the first time, My eyes are closed, I knew what had to be done. I was in bliss as I realized he was kissing me back. I brought him to the mast deepening the kiss. My arms came from his neck down towards his hand finding the shackles, I distracted him with a kiss as I chained him to the mast. He stopped kissing me._

I closed my eyes remembering that nightmare; I want to disappear now to become oblivion.

I realized that Will must of saw me kiss him. I know that will be a black mark on our relationship forever. The only thing Will doesn't know is what happened after. I didn't have the courage to tell him. I don't have the courage to do many things.

"I murdered Captain Jack sparrow" came a voice through my head. I want it to stop, but it's still there saying the same thing over and over again.. I furrow my brow as I try to think of anything else

Captain Jack Sparrow isn't just a man. He fought to get what he wants, traded his soul to keep his name, and sacrificed everything. He is a good man and a Pirate for him I give my whole life to.

Night started to fade as morning started to arise.

"Why am I torturing myself" I thought, I lose sleep, I cry often too much, allbecause I killed a man who at this very moment I am bringing him back.

"Captain Jack Sparrow!" Someone shouted. I jumped. Everytime I hear his name I go weak in the knees. The man that had shouted was none other then Mister Gibbs, an old wise man I have known since I was twelve.

"We're near!" he shouted again "Worlds end is only a three miles off!"

I look in every direction only to see consecutive water looking back. "Are you sure?" I asked not believing it for a second we are almost there to save the man I murdered.

Aye Miss Turner we are almost there, now get your arse moving!" Captain Barbossa shouted. He was former Captain of the Black pearl after he mutinated Jack on an god-for-saken island. Jack met up with him in Isla De Muerta and shot him. We all thought we saw the last of him, but we were wrong.

I shadowed Gibbs, waiting for anything to happen, my knees are shaking at every step I take. I am not handling anxiety very well. i glance at the ocean again, but still endless blue stares right back.

"Elizabeth!" Will shouted. I turned my head to look at him. I can see he is pointing in the west direction we are heading north. I turn to look where he is pointing. The edge of the earth, is before me, my eyes are wide. I turn my head back towards him, before I knew blacknesss seem to overcome me as I fell into unconsciousness.

**How was that? I hoped you enjoyed it. Please review and tell me if I should continue or start in another direction. thanks a bunch! love yeah! **

**Oh before i forget thank to everyone who reviewed my stoy i really appreciate it! **


	3. Chapter3 My decision

**Sorry this is so short, This part is going back to the beginning where she tells her story. oh everybody does this so i am sorry for not posting is in the first chapter **

**disclaimer: i don't own Pirtaes Of The Caribbean this is all for fun and amusement!**

PART 3 My Decision

_You see my life was all a blur as I go through each event that has happened. The incident that had just happened, how I came to be here is still the dreariest, and the one I see so clearly! I am in the arms of the man I love and I haven't the faintest idea if I should go on or possibly not…. _

"_You have a choice Elizabeth, you are too young to give up" A man said to her_

"_People all make mistakes" a woman's voice spoke_

"_How if the man who I love hates me for the treachery I caused! I betrayed him!" My voice said though my mouth is not moving "I told him I loved him but he didn't believe me"_

"_Do you know why you are here Elizabeth? Do you know what route you are to take" The woman's voice spoke again._

"_Don't give up darling. Make the right decision; you don't have much time left, remember we will always love you!" The male's voice spoke then he faded away and so did the woman._

_I closed my eyes pondering my brain for a moment "Is this possible?" I am not, but lonely, lost for what decision I am ready to make._

"_I love you too mom. Dad."_

**A/N: hope you liked it! sorry for taking so long to post it and this chapter is really short but I had this all written down on paper before I typed it and well knowing me I lost the paper so this is all playing by ear!**


	4. Chapter4 Jack Sparrow

Apart from my self conscious calling me a murderer I never knew that life could get any worse, but once again I am wrong.

My eyes start to open; I really don't know why I chose this time to wake up from my unconsciousness I guess the constant shuffling from the background did the trick. I groaned in the attempt of getting up.

That instant the constant shuffling stopped. My vision which was not clear when I woke up was starting to get better.

I looked around my surroundings, something is terribly wrong; this cabin is way too familiar like it appears in my dreams. I completely forgot about what made the shuffling sound until my eyes appear on the culprit.

I admit I am a murderer but I will never admit to what I am feeling now. If I knew that this person would have so much affect on me I would never look at this person again, but unfortunately like many unfortunate things happen in my life I was too late.

What had so much affect on me could be his rips on his shirt, or his cuts on his face or the way he was standing, or the way his hair is tangled up. But I don't think his physical appearance was what made me so breathless, so guilt ridden, so bad, so like a pirate, but his mental status, I feel like I can see the true him, the real him.

He wasn't looking at my eyes or it was I who wouldn't see his I wouldn't know.

"Mrs. Turner" he said quietly and apologetically. Why was he apologizing to me he hasn't done anything wrong it was I who did the sin, it was I who chained him to the mast, it was I who murdered him why the hell is he apologizing!

I wish I could say something but I was still breathless from his appearance, I can't even think straight hell I can't even feel right I feel so guilt ridden I wish I could run over and beg for forgiveness, I would do anything for his forgiveness, I would do anything to not feel this way.

He started to walk towards the door without even looking at me, I wanted him to stop, and I wanted to say sorry. It was either my shock from seeing him again or my nature to not prove he is right that I stayed put and not utter a single word.

When he disappeared I caught my breath again and a tear started to roll down my cheek.

"_Finally!" Jack kicked the guard and grabbed me round the neck with his shackles. The navy and my father "Elizabeth"_

_Jack pointed his gun at my head "Elizabeth its Elizabeth right?" he said turning me around to look at him_

_I scowled at him "its Miss Swann!" Jack only smiles. " Norrington my things" he shouted and gestured to James to give me his accessories. "Miss Swann will you be so kind?" He smiled_

_I put his slash back on "easy on the goods love"_

_I took one last tug on his slash to make it tighter. "You're despicable" I hissed at him_

_He still had his smirk on his face "sticks and stones love I saved your life you save mine!"_

_I was finally done. Jack turned me around to face everybody "Gentlemen!" he puts his head to my ear still holdinga gun to my head "malady Remember this is the day you will always remember the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow!" He pushed me towards the navy and took off._

I know I am going to get it bad, I have killed him and he has done nothing but has been good to me. I know now he will never hurt a lady, or even a soul, he is a good man and coming back proved that to me. I began to sob, is this how people take care of things by crying? I asked myself. I am too weak to say sorry to him, he probably already told the crew of my sin.

I decided after an hour of getting rid of my tears I am going to go outside and be ready for any task waiting for me outside.

I walk towards the door, and slowly opened it. It is night outside, and nobody seems to be up except me and the person leaning over the rail at the far end of the pearl. I knew exactly who it was. I didn't want to see him because just by looking at him afar he still has an extreme affect on me.

Before I can go back inside my cabin his voice began calling me "Elizabeth!" he said and came towards me. I ignored him but just as my hand reached the handle he grabbed my wrist to make me stop I froze, so much emotion took over me I began crying again big globs of tears began forming from my eyes. I tried to hide my face "Elizabeth?" he said only in a whisper. I looked up at his face but not in his eyes too ashamed at what I have done.

"I need to go Jack let me go!" I said kind of roughly from my tears I was really in a moody mood.

"I want to talk to you!" he said ignoring my demand.

"Just leave me alone!" I said struggling. He saw the tears in my eyes, and slowly let me go I turned the handle but I wasn't opening the door.


	5. Chapter5 Captain Jack Sparrow

**Part 3 Captain Jack Sparrow**

Captain Jack Sparrow is not your average kind of man. He surprises you to no limit, he walks in the most bizarre way, and he is very quick-witted.

He is a pirate, he cannot be trusted and he apart from all this is a good man. That is probably why he haunts me. He **is **a good man and **I** murdered him. No matter how despicable I am, I feel so guilt ridden, that lying, bloody son of a Pirate, is all I can think about.

He is not even human. He gets into the most ridiculous trouble most not even known to mankind, and somehow he has survived them all. A woman –me- can kill him, but not Davy Jones, or his vicious mutinated first mate, or undying cursed pirates or East India Trading Company. Why me?

**A/N: sorry for short chapter, every other chapter are Elizabeths thoughts in her heaven. This is like a place where she chooses if she wants to stay living or not.**


	6. Chapter6 our little secret

**Part 4 our little secret**

"That door is locked Mrs. Turner." Jack said with a smile on his face leaning against the wall facing me.

I stopped crying, my guilt turned to frustration and anger, he did this on purpose.

Jack held a key in my face and dangled it "I have the key" and he turned and walked away his smirk was still on his face in clear view.

"Jack give me the key!" I said flustered, pursuing him

"No! That's my cabin, now that you have awake I can sleep on my bed again...unless you want to sleep there too." He said turning around to face me.

I was frustrated even more by his remark "absolutely not! I will sleep in the hammocks." I turned and walked away

"No! No! No!" Jack ran and stopped me we were face to face again "I said I want to talk to you" he pointed at me.

"I don't want to talk to you, thank you now excuse me!" I said as politely as I could, I mean I murdered the man might as well be polite at the least

"I am captain of this ship and you are merely pirate lass, and you are guilty, I can see it for you are not looking in my eyes" He said

I am no matter how guilty, am not going to give in to what he says, or show he is right even if he is right. "No!" I said

"Fine, I'll tell everybody what you did I am guessing they won't be too happy that you were the reason why we are in this place, trying to save me of the grateful and heroic event I had to pursue, because I wanted to give you time to get free, don't I sound very heroic to you, I mean the crew would love to here how you bloody kissed me and chained me up, I bet William would get a kick out of the kiss. But seeming as you don't want to at least chat with me I guess I would have to tell the crew." He turned around then started to walk, he turned to look at me for the last time before he goes downstairs then turned back and took one step and fell down stairs making a racket.

I couldn't help smiling I had no choice but to talk to him and I ran downstairs to see if he was at least okay.

The crew woke up yelling and groaning wondering who was making all the racket.

I bent down to Jack so only he could hear me "Had a nice trip captain? I guess that was good enough to have a chat what would you say?"

He was greatly and utterly embarrassed and got to his feet before anyone could see him on the ground, I followed suit.

"What was the racket captain?" Mr. Gibbs asked he saw me "Miss Elizabeth glad you woke up" I nodded in response

Will was up he saw me, then he saw I was standing next to Jack and turned pale "Elizabeth"

"Will I am okay" I told him. He didn't respond.

Jack took no notice to Will "Nothing happened the step broke loose and I lost my balance" He said quickly.

The rest of the crew groaned and went back to sleep accept Will. "Elizabeth are you coming to bed?"

"No, I need some fresh air"

He nodded then he turned towards Jack then scowled then turned back to me "I don't want you anywhere near him."

I nodded not looking in his eyes. Will went back to bed

"You know I think he has it in for me." Jack said

I didn't respond I turned and walked upstairs. I was at the rail leaning over. Jack leaned next to me.

"I guess me telling Will about the kiss made you change your mind Mrs. Turner" He said

I sighed annoyed by his hinting "I am not Mrs. Turner and Will knows about the kiss he saw us." I turned away from him trying so hard not to cry again. I am so weak when I remember that event.

Jack took notice "you don't have to be guilty love, I only said those things to get what I want, I wasn't going to tell them, it's our little secret"

"That's it Jack it's not a little secret, I murdered you, you were right I am a blasted pirate I deserve so much more than you are giving me" I began to sob, I couldn't control it.

"Not true love, yes you are a pirate but not a blasted one, you did what you were supposed to do what you believed what was right." He said gently putting his hand on my cheek. He tried to move my face to face him but I wasn't budging "let me look into your eyes Lizzie!" He demanded

I reluctantly obeyed he turned me softly and I saw his chocolate brown eyes twinkling at me. He smiled "You are guiltier than I imagined, you are mentally in pain"

"Oh shut it!" I turned away again

"I can see it Lizzie, I knew you would feel this way, and I know why you are guilty" I turned to look at him again "You killed the man you may indeed have feelings for, so you kissed me to slake your lust and drown your guilt, but you didn't know how much affect I would leave on you, so you are in pain, guilty upon imagination and know matter what I say you will not feel any better" he continued.

I was breathless, the rum-soaked, annoying pirate made the perfect sense to me, more than anyone.

His next move was what made me even more breathless. He crashed his lips to mine, at the beginning I was warm and at ease, but when he kissed me to his door I knew what I had to do "No!" I shrieked "Your wrong I don't have feelings for you, I kissed you because I knew you were lusting for me, I knew it would be the easiest way to chain you. I was only guilty because I killed a good man, and I will continue being guilty because of what I have become and my sins, now if you will excuse I will like to be excused from this conversation" I wiped my eyes then I continued towards the hammocks not looking back. When I reached my bed I began to cry, I cried silently all night. Remembering what Jack had said.

**A/N: How was that? Don't worry the next two chapters things will heat up!!**


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